Something I’m not sure I’ve elaborated upon about my time in
Miami has been the excitement I have towards the culture and the people here.
We need to first sit and recognize that Miami in & of itself is a diverse
place. We then need to recall that my placement is with a ministry at an
international university where a significant number of students are here from
other countries. Lastly we need to remember that my housemates & I are
living within the area of Little Havana in Miami, a historically Cuban area and
an area with the largest Hispanic population in Miami.
Never in my life have I been able to have so many new
friends from all over the world. From my roommates, to the staff I work with,
to the students that I meet, to the people I interact with at the store, I am
surrounded by difference and uniqueness of background, experience, and
understanding in a new way. It’s wonderful, people! Wonderful! Sometimes I feel
like an overexcited animal or something when I am talking with some of these
people…just calm it down, Sarah. Act cool. But really, it is just a refreshing
thing to build relationships in a way that I have never before experienced and
be able to learn in a such a new way.
I took a class last semester at App called Race &
Minority Relations. We talked a lot about privilege and what that looks like,
especially the seemingly unnoticeable instances of privilege. I remember coming
to the realization one day that I have never had to wake up and consciously be
aware of my race. I have never walked around thinking, “I’m white. I’m white,
I’m white, I’m white.” And that in and of itself is privilege. When you are in
a place where you have the ability to go around without that subconscious
thought constantly reminding you of your difference, that’s huge.
There is a grocery store down the street from us called El
Presidente, and I walk to it every now and again to get groceries. If you’ll
remember that I live in Little Havana amongst a primarily Hispanic population,
you can also take a gander that this grocery store also falls into this. Now, even
though I am trying to brush up on my Spanish skills, I have sadly realized that
I am unable to brush up on my “I am not going to stick out” skills quite as
easily. I go into El Presidente and literally feel eyes on me. I am unable to
communicate as effectively as I desire, I am painfully aware sometimes of
wishing I wasn’t white, and I feel an overwhelming feeling of self
consciousness. I’ve had a startling realization that I have never, never had to
feel this way before (minus my mzungu days in Kenya). And that is an example of
privilege.
I will never try to compare a feeling of slight
self-consciousness at a silly grocery store to the feelings of prejudice,
judgment, and discrimination that so many have faced and face because of
something as inherent as race. Never. Because I will never be able to do more
than attempt to learn about being a minority in that way. I do write about this
realization, though, because it really is the first time that I’ve been aware
of my “whiteness” and even wished that I could tone down the amount I stick out
because of something such as my race. It has been a strange and important
recognition for me that I am not only thankful for, but strongly hope I can
continue experiencing and learning from.
I think it’s important to take a step back and recognize our
privilege—recognize the things that we do not need to think of each and every
day. “I just woke up from a bed.” “If my family is hungry I can hop in my car
and purchase food without the blink of an eye.” “I am going to college right
now.” “I have a skewed power that others do not because of my gender or my
race.” Gosh, how easy to forget how big those are. I never want to become numb
to those things. I am honestly scared of how easy it is to dwell in power and
privilege and simply forget that anything else exists.
I think I’ll end this puppy with a quote from a Rob Bell
book that I came across about a month ago that I’ve been pretty fond of lately.
It said, “Central to the way of Jesus is serving, which is the loving use of
whatever power we possess for the good of another.” I am repeatedly hopeful in
the realization that we are all able to both serve and be served despite the
sometimes unchosen privilege (or lack thereof) we posses. I am hopeful in the words of the quote
because I am reminded that there are some forms of power I hold, some forms of power
others hold, and we are able to serve one another, this world, and the people
in it regardless.
